IN THE ABSENCE OF THOUGHT...

I hate the mixer in my house. It hates me.I shall never use the goddamn screwey thing again.

All I wanted to do was make myself a chocolate milkshake.You know,with a bit of coffee.So i measure out beautiful spoonfuls of milo and nescafe and stick it in the mixie and switch it on. It goes vrrrrrrmmmm,for maybe three seconds before my precious milkshake comes pouring out the sides.

I hurriedly switch it off and take the holder thingie out,and horrors! The cap thing is stuck. I screw and unscrew and pull and push and tug but the hateful cap will NOT budge. Its still sitting there in the kitchen.

My favourite t-shirt is wet,hanging over the back of a chair.My milkshake is imprisoned inside that stupid machine.I'm very bloody pissed. There are puddles of almost-milkshake all over the kitchen.My hands smell of coffee.

I'm supposed to be writing my valedictory address,for the valedictory day,on tuesday.Instead I'm smashing away at the keyboard,trying to get rid of the frustration that arises from the realization of the fact that,I,Francis,will never be able to operate a mixie.

Its not helping.

I think I shall go onstage,with the whole crowd (200 complete jerk-offs) staring at me,and I'm going to say,

"Six long years have I yearned for this day,
The day I shall see the last of you!
You sadists and morons and complete cretins,
I have seen the last of you!
You shall plague me no more with your books and your pens,
Your classes that inspire yawns
Your unshaven jowls and sweaty spots
I look upon with scorn.

Farewell!Farewell!The time has come
For all of us to part
Forgive me when I say this,
But I'm parting light of heart."


And I'll leave to the roar of applause.The crowd echoes my sentiments.

The frustration is gone.