WIMBA WUCK-A WIMBA WUCK.

Whoo hoo, ladies and gentlemen.

A whole year of college, and I realize that I've learned practically nothing of any importance. That said, I'm having the whole college experience thing that old farts talk about when they get together and reminiscence. I'm sure you've heard them too " back when I was in college.. that was in '72.. you remember that guy? long hair? yeah that one.. whoof! what a character! when he.." blah blah blah.

It's true, though. College is full of 'characters'. Allow me to describe a few I've met so far:

1. Benjamin:

He sits next to me. He is in every single one of my classes. Professors sometimes confuse our names, seeing as we're always hanging out together and we have silly Christian names. He seemed normal enough to begin with, but within a few weeks, he revealed his true colours.
a) his main preoccupation is with all things disgusting
b) he visits regularly a site called ratemypoo. com. No prizes for guessing what's on the site.
c) He goes hyper when women are around.
d) When we decide to cut class and go for a movie, he will agree, walk to the gate with us, then decide not to go, get into a share auto and go home.
e) his current obsession is with dead babies.
f) Beware of the Benjamin.

2. Sreeram

Sree is short. He is well rounded. He keeps his head shaved most of the time. He is a Mallu kshatriya vegetarian. He can debate the hind leg off a donkey. His favourite pastime is sleeping. He occasionally comes to college, but somehow gets away with most of his crimes, owing to the fact that he gets proxy attendance from Ben or me, knows most seniors on campus through his mallu heritage or his association with the Loyola Society of Debaters, and anyway it's not like he cares about college. I love his attitude. And did I mention his accent? It'll make a Punjabi blush. I see him rarely these days.

3. Nitish

Nitish is HUGE. He is. They should excommunicate him, or hire him to play professional basketball. He should not be allowed to roam free and make people feel small. But such is life. Nitish has a chin like a caricature of Jay Leno. He looks like a geek. He is one of the smartest people I know, somehow managing to top his B. Sc. Maths class. I'd rather eat broken glass than read maths, so I have great respect for him. Despite the fact that he's a small town country bumpkin, he's still pretty smooth with the women. And he demonstrated to me that the world is way too small for comfort.

4. Harsha

He's short and fair and looks like a cerelac baby with a beard and bad hair. He wears thick glasses and talks in between swearing. He succeeds in creeping out the aforementioned Benjamin, in the process creeping out both Nitish and me. After one of his extended bouts of sexually-oriented rants, when I asked him if he thought of anything else, he says " yeah! football and communism"

I rest my case.

5. Arun Sarkar

He's a lot like me, which makes him extremely weird. His distinctive factors are the strong Bong accent, his socialist views and his exceptional knowledge of the world around him.

6. Padinjarethazhakal Cherian Cherian (a.k.a. P.C.)

P.C. knows everyone. He's from Kochi, but somehow, WHEREVER we go, somebody knows him. Actually, everybody knows him. He looks like Igor, Dr. Frankenstein's helper. Maybe the appearance helps. (I'd NEVER forget that face!?) P.C has extremely esoteric tastes, discussing Kafka and Batman in the same breath. You got to hand it to him. He makes extremely interesting conversation. It's easy to ignore the body odour, dandruff and spit when his sense of humour shines through. He claims to be a failed mamma's boy, but we know better.

I'll update this. Right now,I'm extremely sleepy, which is why this post is bad. Apologies.