John Lennon once said " Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted". Which justified most of my vettiness in my life so far. But what d'you know, I've recently started doing stuff that was both pointless and not particularly enjoyable. In essence, I have become the prototype person from Loyola.
Yesterday, I built a sandcastle. Ok, in my defence, I tried to. I had with me, at this point, two grumpy women and a hyperactive giant. One grumpy woman helped with the sandcastle. The other one sat around on the sand. The giant consistently tried to sabotage the castleworks.
Now, all was going well (at least as well as the circumstances would allow), when ye olde fortune teller shows up. Not the creepy fat lady with the little stick, no sir. Not the one who tries to tell you that your wife will look like Aishwarya Rai (Poor lady, she's been invoked so many times by the fortune tellers that she went and married Abhishek Bacchan, who incidentally looks like my friend Waseem). So, this fortune teller of ours was a guy. Ordinary sort of chap. With a nice green parrot. Now, I've never had my fortune told before, and I don't ever intend on having it told again. (I'm the sort of megalomaniac freak who believes that he writes his own future, and the future of his minions, thank you very much) but yesterday, Giant and Grumpy Woman 2 decide that they want to know their futures. And mine, in the bargain. So with my sneering disapproval, little Mithu comes slinking out of his cage, picks a paper to predict my life, and sneaks right back in. The fortune man, who up till now has been quite normal, looks at the chit and breaks out into a veritable torrent of classical tamil, most of which even I cannot follow. After his first effort, he wants me to pick a card with my own hand. I refuse downright, so Giant does it for me. the man goes wild again, and I realize that he has just predicted that I will have two wives (?) and that I will be a millionaire after I'm forty ( I took very strong exception to that.) He also predicts that Grumpy Woman 1 should have been born as a guy (If she had, she would have raped at least ten women, but since she didn't, the world is safe) and that Grumpy Woman 2 is going to have problems in the near future. Giant's life is supposed to be somewhat like mine, with the whole millionaire before forty thing, but with an additional warning that he should avoid the company of younger people, and hang out with older people instead. Needless to say, this worried him quite a bit.
By the time this inanity came to an end, the castle was coming along decently, but it required a bit of water to make it a little more solid. So Grumpy Woman 2 and Giant are enlisted to fetch water from the sea (which is barely ten feet away from where we sat, just out of reach of the tide) Unsuccessful attempts are made at fetching water in a rubber slipper, bare hands and a coconut (which looked suspiciously like someone deposited a little.. er.. white substance into it) until I spot an empty water bottle and they go to fetch water in that. Thereafter we are treated to a sight of Grumpy Woman 2 running away from the waves very nimbly, while still trying to fill the bottle. Giant is more effective, and we build quite a bit. Then one whole section of the wall crumbles, Grumpy One gets hungry, and we leave. But not before they take amusing pictures of me, and kick down the castle.
I grin and bear it. Vaalkai is a vattam.
Yesterday, I built a sandcastle. Ok, in my defence, I tried to. I had with me, at this point, two grumpy women and a hyperactive giant. One grumpy woman helped with the sandcastle. The other one sat around on the sand. The giant consistently tried to sabotage the castleworks.
Now, all was going well (at least as well as the circumstances would allow), when ye olde fortune teller shows up. Not the creepy fat lady with the little stick, no sir. Not the one who tries to tell you that your wife will look like Aishwarya Rai (Poor lady, she's been invoked so many times by the fortune tellers that she went and married Abhishek Bacchan, who incidentally looks like my friend Waseem). So, this fortune teller of ours was a guy. Ordinary sort of chap. With a nice green parrot. Now, I've never had my fortune told before, and I don't ever intend on having it told again. (I'm the sort of megalomaniac freak who believes that he writes his own future, and the future of his minions, thank you very much) but yesterday, Giant and Grumpy Woman 2 decide that they want to know their futures. And mine, in the bargain. So with my sneering disapproval, little Mithu comes slinking out of his cage, picks a paper to predict my life, and sneaks right back in. The fortune man, who up till now has been quite normal, looks at the chit and breaks out into a veritable torrent of classical tamil, most of which even I cannot follow. After his first effort, he wants me to pick a card with my own hand. I refuse downright, so Giant does it for me. the man goes wild again, and I realize that he has just predicted that I will have two wives (?) and that I will be a millionaire after I'm forty ( I took very strong exception to that.) He also predicts that Grumpy Woman 1 should have been born as a guy (If she had, she would have raped at least ten women, but since she didn't, the world is safe) and that Grumpy Woman 2 is going to have problems in the near future. Giant's life is supposed to be somewhat like mine, with the whole millionaire before forty thing, but with an additional warning that he should avoid the company of younger people, and hang out with older people instead. Needless to say, this worried him quite a bit.
By the time this inanity came to an end, the castle was coming along decently, but it required a bit of water to make it a little more solid. So Grumpy Woman 2 and Giant are enlisted to fetch water from the sea (which is barely ten feet away from where we sat, just out of reach of the tide) Unsuccessful attempts are made at fetching water in a rubber slipper, bare hands and a coconut (which looked suspiciously like someone deposited a little.. er.. white substance into it) until I spot an empty water bottle and they go to fetch water in that. Thereafter we are treated to a sight of Grumpy Woman 2 running away from the waves very nimbly, while still trying to fill the bottle. Giant is more effective, and we build quite a bit. Then one whole section of the wall crumbles, Grumpy One gets hungry, and we leave. But not before they take amusing pictures of me, and kick down the castle.
I grin and bear it. Vaalkai is a vattam.
hey...u r really funny...u must continue writing blogs....i wud luv to read dem..
ReplyDeletewaitin for ur next post...